Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Top 5 Movies That Are Only Slightly Longer Than The Granada Hills Christmas Parade

The Pasadena Tournament of Roses Parade organizers manage to wrap things up at the 2.5 hour mark, and I hate to be the one to point this out, but may I gently suggest that the Granada Hills Holiday Parade isn't quite the extravaganza that the Rose Parade is.

Note to the mom who was talking on her cell phone as she strolled down the street pulling a Radio Flyer behind her: we can still see you. Yes, we understand that the adorable toddler you're towing in that wagon is the main attraction, but a parade is supposed to be about visual spectacle. And you talking on your cell phone ain't it.

My suggestion: if the call is an emergency, consider abandoning the route midway. It's really alright to do that. And if the call's not an emergency, it's really alright to say, "Can I call you back? I'm in a parade."

Or at the very least, perhaps just occasionally wave your phone at the nice people lined up on the sidewalks.

Look, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: it's long, it's boring, and it's ours. I love the Granada Hills Christmas Parade. Love it. But if you don't have kids to cheer on or a business to promote, I'd also forgive you for staying home and spending the equivalent amount of time watching one of these fine movies:

1. Doctor Zhivago (1965)
Running Time: 3 hours, 17 minutes


The life of a Russian doctor/poet who, although married, falls for a political activist's wife and experiences hardships during the Bolshevik Revolution.





2. Barry Lyndon (1977)
Running Time: 3 hours, 4 minutes

An Irish rogue wins the heart of a rich widow and assumes her dead husband's position in 18th Century aristocracy.











3. Gone With the Wind (1939)
Running Time: 3 hours, 46 minutes

American classic in which a manipulative woman and a roguish man carry on a turbulent love affair in the American south during the Civil War and Reconstruction.










4. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
Running Time: 3 hours, 36 minutes

Epic rumination on a flamboyant and controversial British military figure and his conflicted loyalties during wartime service.






5. Schindler's List (1993)
Running Time: 3 hours, 15 minutes

In Poland during World War II, Oskar Schindler gradually becomes concerned for his Jewish workforce after witnessing their persecution by the Nazis.








Happy Holidays, folks!

8 comments:

  1. You missed the all-time sinker, errr, stinker--3 hours and 14 minutes I will never get back: Titanic.

    Still haven't seen a GH Parade, but thankfully the people I care about take copious pictures and we can just enjoy those without the parking and sitting. And sitting. And sitting.

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  2. I endorse watching the parade on fast-forward: get on a bike at Chatsworth and Zelzah, and ride the parade route in reverse, to Petit Park. You'll see it in a 3rd of the time.

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  3. Just imagine how much longer it would have been if Englander, Antonovich, and Sherman had shown up!

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  4. The big problem was the damn band judges who the bands kept stopping and prepping for about a hundred yards back from the judging platform at a red line on the street.

    I was across the street watching and you could see the band judges signaling the bands when to start marching again!

    That caused the whole parade to slow down and space out!

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  5. Still, it is great fun and we come out each year to watch it, and we stay for the whole thing! We love it!

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  6. Conversely, when the utility of Jerusalem expires, so does its status and the passions about it

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  7. The bands should be at the end of the parade.

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  8. Don't forget the original, restored ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA at over 4 hours in length!

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