Breaking: VONS DRAMA AS BELOVED CASHIERS BRANDI AND SANDY DEPART UNDER CIRCUMSTANCES SHROUDED IN SECRECY

The scene at Vons on San Fernando Mission Boulevard today was one of consternation: dramatically longer lines than one would typically expect on a Wednesday around 6:00 p.m., stretching all the way from the checkout lanes, up the frozen aisle, and not just to the front of that aisle, where there's ice cream, but to the far end, where there's broccoli. Similarly, the self-checkout line, always a little fubar, went well past the Starbucks and stretched as far as the raspberries and beyond. 

Patrons weren't grumbling too loudly, but there was plenty of requests for, "Can you hold my place while I grab one more thing?" which were met with a good natured shrug, because the inching pace meant it would make little difference. 

The reason for the extensive delays, according to sources who spoke under condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak with the media (or even to me), was because two of the store's beloved cashiers, Brandi and Sandy, had been fired.

Unconfirmed reports also indicate that two managers walked out at approximately 5:00 p.m., and were described as being unperturbed by the plight of frustrated shoppers and overwhelmed cashiers.

According to the source, Sandy, who was suffering from a shoulder issue, was terminated during her medical leave, and Brandi was relieved of duty for having once given a free lollipop to a small child. 

"I will really miss them both," one shopper said. "Seeing their familiar faces, knowing how helpful they both were, that's the whole reason I was loyal to this store."

"This is really a sad loss," said another shopper, as he struggled with three watermelons he said he was buying for a weekend party. "You get used to seeing these people, they feel like part of the neighborhood. Now they're gone, and it's not going to be the same." 

A second employee source, also not authorized to speak publicly about the matter, urged shoppers to complain about the managers' departure from the store during a moment of critical understaffing. "Corporate won't listen to us, but they'll listen to customers, so call the number on your receipt or go to Vons.com and complain," the worker said. 


When asked about the dismissal, Vons' customer service responded, "Please be advised that we don't have any information about this."