Vector Control Deploys Babykilling Machines

The Daily News is reporting that West Nile Virus-carrying mosquitos have been found in the Valley, including Granada Hills.

Release the killer fish!

West Nile Virus isn't anything to panic over; according to the report, no human cases have been reported in Los Angeles County so far this year. But the disease can be transmitted to humans by mosquito bites.

In addition to preventing bites by wearing the appropriate protective gear (a/k/a long sleeves and long pants at dusk and dawn), you can get an arsenal of deadly mosquitofish delivered to your door for free. These remorseless killers subsist on a diet of black, wriggling mosquito larvae; reports that they rip out the helpless larvae's hearts and hold them up for their victims to see just seconds before they die were unconfirmed at press time.

Once deployed to backyard ponds, fountains, or neglected swimming pools, these iron-willed troops will go on a murderous rampage, devouring any all of the innocent, tender infants they encounter, caring nothing about the series of mosquito mother hearts they break in the process.

How can you get your hands on some of these vicious babykillers? Call the Sylmar Branch of Vector Control at (818) 364-9589 (press 2) and they'll arrange a delivery appointment.

Let the killing begin!


Popular posts from this blog

Archive: Master of Pirates

Thoughts on Joe's Cafe and cancel culture

Even XXX Stars Need TLC