Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Name The New High School George W. Bush High

I've always striven to be sensitive to criticism. So when a reader pointed out to me my error in judgment in proposing that the new high school be named Bo Diddley High, after the former Granada Hills resident and musical innovator, I relented.

This reader pointed out:
"The name needs to be bold and something to be proud of; not a name that will bring constant embarrassment and ridicule: Diddlers High - a bunch of blooming molesters? Giga High - really? Think it through folks - it's bad enough many of you gave your kids' names nobody can spell or pronounce. "

I have been duly chastised, as have the majority of my readers who have misnamed their children.

Of course, it was well before I received this letter that I began to regret my decisions to name my son Aierelowopid and my daughter LaShwianianiqjikilaga. I also regret my former ignorance of the fact that Bo Diddley was a notorious child molester.

Of course, to give your organization a name with a too-close sonic proximity to any other word is to tempt fate. My time in Granada Hills High School's Thespian Society taught me that.

So in the interest of seeking a bold and proud alternative, I offer:

George W. Bush High School!


It's presidential. It's historic. It's bold. It's proud. It has the potential to gain widespread support. And Bush High is a name that would be tough to make fun of. I can't think of any jokes to connect with that. Can you?

Spread the word throughout the community: the school formerly known as Bo Diddley High will from this point forward be known as George W. Bush High School.

18 comments:

  1. Let's not and say we didn't

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  2. Ugh, It's sad that the GH seems to have more than its share of right wing no-nothings, but one fun thing about the election last week was seeing all of their (local and california) candidates lose.

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  3. Yes, then the school nickname could be the Crusaders.

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  4. Ok, love your blog but you're nuts.

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  5. ummm....no. this is a joke right?

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  6. Football headline: Kennedy Cougars keep Bush behind lines.

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  7. At Bush high (and there were times that I'm sure he was!) would C be the highest grade attainable?

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  8. Ha Ha! You're trying to be sarcastic, right? Please tell me you are! There is no way I would vote for that name in my neighborhood!

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  9. How about Reagan High School?

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  10. Oh, I should also add that I've also decided to rename my son Aierelowopid and my daughter LaShwianianiqjikilaga with more old-fashioned, traditional names that are simple to spell and pronounce: my son's new name is Dick, and my daughter name is Fanny.

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  11. We all need this comic relief!

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  12. OMG i hope/glad that your kidding. But seriously, how do names get selected for schools?

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  13. Historically what usually happens is that a smartass hyperlocal blogger makes a brilliant suggestion, starts up a facebook group which thousands of people join in support of that suggestion, and then the school district bows to the pressure.

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  14. What about Freddy Kruger High School

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  15. Robert F. Kennedy High School

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  16. I propose Always High School. That is almost as good as Bush High.

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  17. Ur stupid!!!!!!!!!

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  18. That may be true, but in my own defense I'd like to point out that at least I do know the proper spelling of the word "you're." And the word "satire."

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