A Tale Of Three Carnies

GGH: Do you ever get kicked in the face?

Carny No. 1: (smiles) Yeah. It happens all the time.

GGH: You sure have a good attitude about it!

Carny No. 1: It's just part of the job.

Carny No. 2: I've got a girlfriend who's an artist. I'm going to send her one of these heads to paint, real realistic, or real scary. If it works out I'll have her paint all of them.

GGH: Go with scary.

Carny No. 2: It sure clears out early around here. Must be because it's a bad neighborhood.

GGH: This is a bad neighborhood?

Carny No. 2: Yeah. Last night we had the gangbangers here, tagging all of our equipment. We called the cops, they didn't even show up. Next day we asked the cops why they didn't come, they said, 'You should have called in that someone was waving a gun. Then we would have been here.'

GGH: Wow, that's an amazing belt buckle. Can I take your picture?

Carny No. 3: Sure. I won that in a rodeo. I usually don't have girls ask to take pictures of my crotch. Are you a photographer?

GGH: No, I'm a blogger.

Carny No. 3: You're a what? What is that?

GGH: It's an Internet thing.

Carny No. 3: Oh. I'm computer illiterate. So was that guy your husband?

GGH: Yes.

Carny No. 3: Oh.

GGH: Do you live around here?

Carny No. 3: I live in Bakersfield. I'm sharing a motel with three other guys so I don't have to drive all the way home.

GGH: You have to pay for the motel yourself?

Carny No. 3: Yeah, but sometimes I sleep out with the equipment.

GGH: Like a security guard?

Carny No. 3: Yeah. I make sure no one steals anything. I've got both kinds of carry permits.

GGH: Anyone ever try to mess with the stuff?

Carny No. 3: Sure. Had people try to take things, trailers, generators and stuff.

GGH: Were you in the Marines?

Carny No. 3: Yep. Did two tours of duty in Iraq, got two purple hearts.

GGH: What for?

Carny No. 3: (Lifts pant leg, revealing scars) Shrapnel here. Then, a bullet went through my chest. (Lifts shirt, points to scar near left armpit) Here's the entry wound. (Turns around, points to scar near right armpit) Here's the exit. It was an armor piercing bullet. I'm lucky it didn't tumble. It missed my heart by an inch, but it collapsed my lung. I retired after that.

GGH: Wow, you got shot in Iraq and then you come home and get thrown off horses?

Carny No. 3: Sure. Bulls, actually. Rodeo's just a hobby.


Popular posts from this blog

Archive: Master of Pirates

Thoughts on Joe's Cafe and cancel culture

Even XXX Stars Need TLC